Books – Celtic Paranoia: The Laptop Loyal Diaries

Media | Celtic Books | If You Know The History

Details

Title: Celtic Paranoia The Laptop Loyal Diaries
Author: Anthony Hamilton
Published: 16 Jan 2011

Synopsis

Celtic Paranoia: The Laptop Loyal Diaries"Inspired by an incident in a 2002 Scottish Cup tie, where a Lorenzo Amoruso goal-line handball was air-brushed out of history by the Scottish press, the author of this book takes a closer look at the 'impartiality' of the Scottish media in relation to its coverage of Celtic and Rangers. Beginning early in 2002 through to March 2009, the barely-hidden pro-Rangers, anti-Celtic agenda of much of the Scottish media (the Laptop Loyal) is humourously and savagely derided by the author. The book is written in the style of a diary in which entries are written, appraising the so-called impartiality of the media coverage of the Scottish football stories of the day.

The likes of Traynor, Leckie, Jackson, King, Young and Keevins figure prominently in what amounts to a scathing indictment of the standard of today's Scottish football journalism. Although most Celtic fans will be familiar with memorable incidents such as Thugs & Thieves, the Chris Sutton witch-hunt, Lennon and O'Neill at Ibrox and the SPL Extension Farce 2008, and also the pro-Rangers/anti-Celtic propaganda that accompanied these cases, even cynical Celtic fans may be surprised by the sheer volume of constant hunnery spewed out by the Scottish media over the seven year period covered by the book.

Countless examples of shameless pro-hun hypocrisy are exposed mercilessly as the words of Murray poodles are brought out of the archives and held up in evidence against them. One such brazen example occurs early in 2002, where Keith "Union" Jackson writes a strongly worded defence of Andrei Kanchelskis for "showboating" against Kilmarnock in a game won 5-0 by the Huns. Kilmarnock were told in no uncertain terms by the Media House lackey to focus on their own deficiencies and get themselves a sense of humour. The author then compares this piece with one written by the same hack following Celtic's 3-1 CIS Cup semi-final win over Rangers in 2001. Needless to say Mr Jackson was apopleptic at the "unprofessional showboating" of Bobby Petta in this case, and wrote a ridiculous article (even by Laptop Loyal standards) which absolved the two Huns (Mols and Reyna) of any blame for their red cards and called for Petta to be punished by the SFA for aforementioned "showboating".

At 396 pages the book is crammed full of this type of Media House drip drip hypocrisy which would simply pass into a history propagating the myth of an "Old Firm" which are "as bad as each other", if it weren't for the rampant "paranoia" and research undertaken by the author in this work.

The two main themes running through the book are attacks on the "Old Firm are as bad as each other" and "negative stories about Celtic are all just down to incompetence not bias" myths. As Scott Brown has found out to his cost recently, Rangers fans, players and officials disgracing themselves on a regular basis requires the Scottish laptop lapdogs to go after Celtic on a regular basis with the agenda of raking up dirt and smearing the club's name, or as Ewan Cameron would describe it "reporting in the public interest". Well, I suppose he's right, the police can't be too hard on these guys who talk too loudly on the train.

This book also has the best, funniest and most sensible appraisal of the 2008 SPL Extension Farce I have ever read. Humour is the best weapon against the media lie machine and the author wields this weapon expertly through the tangled mire of Murray propaganda masquerading as news. Even if after reading this, you still think the author is completely paranoid, I guarantee you will have had a bloody good laugh!

only available online @Lulu http://www.lulu.com/content/6813654
or e-mail the author tony.bananas101@googlemail.com"

Review

(From Not The View)
Assuming you’re the type who looks forward to reading Tony Bananas’ frequent columns in NTV, you’re probably perusing this issue in the comfort of your padded cell in the acute Paranoia wing of the Booby Hatch. Fear not. Proof that you’re not bonkers is contained within the 400 pages of The laptop Loyal Diaries.

Point your consultant shrink to the entries on Thugs and Thieves, the treatment of Aiden McGeady and Neil Lennon, the general drivel that passes as football reporting in this country which is little more than cheer leading for Rangers that would make Joe Goebbals cringe and he’ll soon be either signing your release papers or joining you in sticking the y-fronts on the head and the pencils up the nostrils.

Tom Campbell might have done a good job in suggesting that our collective paranoia was ‘all in the mind’, but Hamilton does an equally good one in providing all the evidence you need that the Scottish media have been gobbling up the Winalot by the bucketload.

The hacks might have been happier had the resultant pro-Rangers propaganda been consigned to the bin – where it undoubtedly belongs – the day after its publication, but unfortunately for them our intrepid reporter has gathered it together here for the benefit of posterity. A dirty job, but we should be thankful that someone chose to do it.

If, as you read it, you find yourself wilting under the barrage of evidence, the section at the back entitled ‘The Lickspittle Archives’ contains classic articles from pre-2002, including Traynor’s “succulent lamb” piece. Pure comedy gold.

Product Details

Links

  • […]